Recently, I had a semi-relapse of the same fatigue I wrestled with several years ago. (See
Running With Gerbils: The Wheel of Grief, http://wp.me/pz1Df-5a).
Once again, I got myself too busy, trying to do it all as one person; no longer the couple Bill and I had been before he died.
I’m reminded of Elijah after fighting a great battle for God. He thought he was the only one left on his side (1 Kings 19).
What did God do? Did he scold him for being less than perfect, as I thought He would me?
No.
An angel of the Lord met Elijah in his need and had him sleep, eat, and sleep again. After Elijah was rested, he fled to the wilderness. There God met him. Not in the wind, not in the earthquake or the fire, but in a gentle whisper: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (v.13). God encouraged him to go back the way he came, because,”I reserve seven thousand in Israel–all those knees have not bowed down to Baal…” (1 Kings 19:18).
Elijah was not alone.
We aren’t either. Not only are there many others going through what we go through in grief, but as this God of Restoration was with Elijah, He will restore us.
Knowing this brings me peace. I hope it does you.
Where in your grief, would you expect God to not be there for you? Is this true?
Jenny,
Thank you.
I often used to think God was angry with me too, on any number of occasions. But I have since learned so much more about his kindness, love and understanding of us. He does know how we feel and we can go to Him with any feeling we might have and He will understand.
Sandi,
Your post is beautiful and much needed comfort for me at this time. So often when in the midst of feeling sad, I feel as if God is angry with me. I am afraid my sadness appears as a lack of faith or trust. I am afraid I’m being selfish when others deal with so much more in life – suffer more.
Reading the story of Elijah helped me see that God understands my sadness and grief. He’s telling me to rest and lean into my sadness. Losing a loved one is sad and we are allowed to feel sorrow. Truth is – God is a loving father and he knows how we feel – he made us all unique and special.
Just when we feel we can’t take anymore, God sends comfort and strength. Yes, you can do this for I will never leave or forsake you.