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Archive for November, 2010

A Blessing In Grief

November, 2001. A paralysis began its steady creep throughout my husband’s body.  It started with a slight drag of his right foot and, over a matter of weeks, this here-to-fore triathlete and marathon runner became completely immobile as three brainstem tumors took over his life.

Is it any wonder I don’t relish the holidays?

Our last winter together was spent pondering the reason for his descent into paralysis. “My calf is numb. I bet it’s a pinched nerve.” Or, after the diagnosis, “This can’t be a brain tumor; you don’t have headaches.”

In retrospect, I see these were precious moments. We were together. Since Bill died, whenever I’ve seen couples acting distant with each other, I’ve wanted to scream, “Get over it! You have no idea how much time you have left.”

Precious memories or not, the holidays are difficult  for people in mourning.  A poll taken on the Hello Grief website, (http://hellogrief.com) shows the season is dreaded by many.

These days, so many years after the fact, I reminisce…shed a few tears…and enjoy the presence of my children and grandchildren, together on Thanksgiving Day in spite of loss. Or perhaps, because of it. This time too, is precious. 

Nevertheless, I’m still relieved when the holidays are over.

Tell me about the person you’ve lost. How do you feel about the fast-approaching holidays?

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