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Archive for January, 2010

My church scored a Perfect Ten in Caregiving during the time my husband was ill. Their concern for me continued after his death and has through the years since.

Some of you have not been treated as well. Perhaps you’ve been left alone a few weeks or months after your loss, or have had to endure comments like, “Your loved one is in a better place.” You may even have been encouraged to remarry or have another child, as if this would make everything all right.

After reading my blog, Pastor Bob Myers asks, “How can the church be more helpful?

To him I say, “Keep doing what you did for Bill and me.” Many church members gave practical help. Pastor Bob had a habit of showing up at the hospital when he was most needed, his face etched with concern. He offered comfort and shared the hope of Heaven as Bill lay immobile, waiting to die.

To those of you who are going through grief now or have in the past, what would your answer be? What has been your experience, negative or positive? What would help you the most?

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My oldest son is a trained counselor. For awhile, he practiced in this field. Now he has a different career.
“I save all my therapy for you, mom,” he teases.

A few nights ago, he allowed me to yammer on at length about my bouncing off the wall fears over the loss of my health (Temporary, though there are days it doesn’t feel that way).

After he left to return to his own home, I slept for ten hours, wrapped in the warm cocoon of his love and understanding.

I’ve written before (Grief: Let’s Talk It Over) about the value in sharing our pain with trusted individuals. I just had no idea it could have such a positive effect on my body.

Who in your life would it be beneficial to talk with about your losses?

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