Just when I wondered if I had much more to blog about, God allowed me get very ill & to sleep for a week. He lifted me up in the middle of what I thought was a War Zone. I was surrounded by people with missing limbs due to diabetes; and witnessed the patient, measured pace of a physical therapist who knew when to let me rest and when to push me in rehab just a little further. I watched him hang a man with spinal injury, on a mechanical hanger–the man’s legs dangling, limbs swaying in the breeze—the kind of thing you don’t normally see on someone in a wheel chair: the raw truth. And there was the man who was everyone’s cheerleader; who greeted me each morning before I even wanted to be awake…with a cheerful, “How are you today?” in spite of his own severe injuries.
I hated the rehab which lasted anywhere from 3 to 4 & 1/2 hours a day.Yet I turned a corner and in spite of myself,started to see how much it was helping me. I wasn’t able to walk, balance, etc, after what the Doctors thought was a stroke and turned out to be (after 2 brain biopsies), 3 malagnant brain tumors (astrocytoma), grade 3.
Now I’m home again after 6 weeks in the hospital, finished with a combo of radiation and chemo which when combined, is supposed to be less toxic in side effects. And it is.
But I had come to the end of my own strength and God’s has taken over….as He promises. Therefore, I have hope. What is your hope in the midst of your life’s worst trial?
Hope to me is a whisper from God telling me that everything will be okay. Waking up to sunshine, birds in my backyard, flowers in bloom and the smile of friends, hugs from my boys, all these gentle reminders let me know God is with me and He will never leave my side. Sunrise, sunset, clouds, mountain peaks, the ocean, and many more magnificent views of this earthly place are my glimpses of heaven and in that I find hope. As C.S. Lewis wrote: “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
SANDI!!!
So wonderful to hear from you!! I’m going through dark times myself, and your posts always give me hope. Please try and post more often. YOU ARE STRONG!! You can do it! Just like you taught me one step at a time….one breath at a time ♥ You are a wonderful inspiration. Love you!
Zeina,
I’m sorry you’re going thru tough times. 😦 How are you doing?
YOU BLESS & ENCOURAGE ME NOT TO GIVE IN OR GIVE UP….THANKYOU