I’d love to hear your story, answer any questions you may have about grief and loss, or hear your ideas for something you’d like me to blog about.
Please contact me at:
selzinga@hotmail.com
or comment below.
Writing is my passion, my joy, my therapy
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Categories
Hertel Award 2010 First Place: And Timothy Giggled. Best Children’s Story, Maranatha Christian Writer’s Conference
HERTEL AWARD, 2011. FIRST PLACE, A LIFE REGLUED: FINDING GOD’S GRACE ON A SIDE TRIP THROUGH ANXIETY. BEST ARTICLE, MARANATHA CHRISTIAN WRITER’S CONFERENCE
Thank you for welcoming our comments and giving us the opportunity to share some of our stories. Six years ago I lost my dad to a heart attack (we were best friends) and I almost lost my mom the same night to a medical condition called broken heart syndrome. Yes, you can actually die from a broken heart. The medical term is called stress cardiomyopathy. If you’d like to know more about broken heart syndrome and I how dealt with the loss of my dad go to http://championsinchrist.wordpress.com/2010/08/04/broken-heart-syndrome/
Brian,
What a beautiful testimony of your faith in Christ. Thank you so much for sharing. What you and your mom went through must have been very difficult.
First, let me say I was baptized in the Holy Spirit on April 3rd, 2005 and only two (2) years latter I received the news that my baby brother was killed in prison on August 15, 2007. My heart sunk as my Dad came to my house with the news. Now lets fastforward to Feb, 2008 and my Dad had his second heart attack that almost killed him then but he survived. After we left the hospital they told my Mom and I that he would have only 15% use of his heart left. The Lord preserved his life for three more years and he passed on Jan. 20, 2011. Then only 4 months later my Mother tragically died of her own heart attack on June 17, 2011. I often time read the Book of Job searching for answers as I pray and study because I feel like him quite often. Please pray for me and give me any comfort you can from your writing journey with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I will e-mail you soon.
Sincerely in Christ,
Clifford Tate, Sr.
Clifford,
You have had many major losses in just a few years. I am so sorry. I too lost my parents close together in time. (6 months apart).
Grief is hard, confusing and riddled with conflicting emotions. Please know that this is normal and God understands it all and is there for you. I found the most comfort after my husband died, by imagining myself crawling into God’s arms and resting in His comfort…particularly when I just didn’t understand. Another comfort was in listening to CDs of Praise songs. They invariably brought me to tears, so I could get the grief out. Painful, yet healing.
The most complicated journey of grief that I have experienced is the suicide of my former husband, Bill, who was abusive to me and my children but was diagnosed with a number of mental health issues that no one ever explained to us. I am struggling to write my own story of grief. He would often threaten me, “If you leave me for any reason, I will not have to pay you a red cent. I will kill myself before paying you any support.” I did leave him as the chronic illness I have is exacerbated by stress. He did not take his life right away but four years later. Upon receiving news of his death, my first thought was “You should have stayed there” but my spirit was slowly dying in the relationship and I was living in fear. I have been working with a trauma team and know that I am not responsible for his choice to end his life, The only person who could have changed the outcome was Bill.
I can only imagine what you have been through with your former husband! Your trauma team is right: you are not responsible for his choice to end his life. I commend you for having the strength to get out when you did. I know firsthand, what stress can do to our bodies and it’s not good. And worse with a chronic illness. Not to mention all the emotional scars of abuse. I’m sorry.
Janis,
I pray your grief is easing some by now. The first year after a loss is so hard!!!
Sometimes all we can do, is just put one foot in front of the other and ask God to stabalize us and carry us when we don’t have the strength. He will not let you down, no matter how it seems.
I read your story in one of Charles Stanley’s publications recently. I “lost” my sister to the same brain cancer as your husband. She left this earth Aug 8th so my grief is only getting worse. I keep repeating “faith” to myself but I see the suffering of my bnl, Ronnie and my mom, my daughter…myself. why does God leave us behind……some of her last words to me were “I prayed for you for 13 years”
I push on for my children and her grands (which are doorsteps basically) 10, 11, 12, 18
she was the one who wanted to live to be old/ ancient…
she was the pretty one, the one with the husband who adored her….
Melva,
Lonliness is one of the TOUGH ones, isn’t it? I’m sending you an e-mail shortly. Watch for it.
How do you handle the loneliness? It will be 6 years October 18 since I lost my John, and I still am so lonely. I have a daughter that I am close to, and I help homeschool my two grandsons (both Type 1 diabetic). I LOVE being with them, but I have to come home alone, sleep alone, be alone. Yes, I know Jesus says He will never leave me nor forsake me, and I am conscious of His presence, especially at night. But how do I get my joy back? I have had to change churches (my John was a pastor and missionary, and in leadership in our church, so it seemed best to change churches), and I am happy in my new church. I go to the women’s Bible studies, special meetings, and get a lot of comfort being with other women. But again, I come home alone. If you have any suggestions as how you handled the loneliness, I would appreciate them. God bless you!